DENVER — Josh Allen was already crying before he got to the podium to take questions from the media.
"It's extremely difficult," Allen said, still in full uniform after theBuffalo Bills' 33-30 overtime loss to the Denver Broncos,barely able to get the words out. "I feel like I let my teammates down tonight."
All playoff losses sting. This one seemed to hurt more than the others, which includes two defeats in the conference title game and the infamous "13 seconds" loss in the divisional round to Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs.
The Bills have gone to the playoffs seven times with Allen, and Saturday's divisional round loss marked the seventh time they've failed to reach the Super Bowl in this era. The stakes seemed even higher this time around. There was no Mahomes waiting for the Bills in the AFC championship game. Lamar Jackson and Joe Burrow weren't in the AFC field either.
It's not like the path was clean for the Bills, who didn't win the AFC East and were going to have to win three road games to make the Super Bowl. But they had the best quarterback still alive in the playoffs. This seemed like their shot, especially when they had a lead for most of the fourth quarter against the Broncos, or when they had the ball in overtime with a shot to win it.
And while Allen was great at times Saturday, he also made key mistakes. He had four turnovers, which were huge. Allen couldn't lead a scoring drive in overtime that would have sent the Bills to the AFC championship game.
"Just missed opportunities throughout the game. It's been a long season. Hate how it ended," Allen said. "It's going to stick with me for a long time."
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Moments after Allen was done speaking with the media,Bills left tackle Dion Dawkins was emotional too.He was told Allen said he thought he let his teammates down.
"He didn't let us down," Dawkins said, shaking his head.
Dawkins' eyes filled with tears. He dropped his head as he started crying, then turned into his locker. Nothing more needed to be said.
Josh Allen still seeking his 1st Super Bowl
In time, the specifics of how the Bills have come up short time after time in the playoffs will fade. It won't be remembered from Saturday night's game that the Bills gave up a go-ahead drive in the final minutes of regulation (or that Allen rallied the Bills downfield to tie it with five seconds left), or thattwo huge defensive pass interference penaltiesput the Broncos in line for an easy field goal to win the game in overtime.
All that will be remembered is if Allen does or does not win a Super Bowl. Do you remember the details of all 10 of Dan Marino's career playoff losses? Probably not.
The weight of that was evident with Allen's emotions after the game, and his teammates' emotions too. It was as somber of a locker room as you'll find, even considering the suddenness of the Bills' season ending in an overtime loss. The theme remained consistent: This wasn't Allen's fault. They all felt the loss, and they felt his pain at the same time.
"He's been carrying us all year," receiver Brandin Cooks said. "The way I think about it is, somebody step up to be able to alleviate some of that from him. When you're great and you feel like you have to do so much, you have the opportunity to force some of those things. That's the way I think about Josh. He's the greatest quarterback in this league. Everybody else around him has to come up and be able to make plays so he doesn't always have to be the one to feel like, 'Man, I've got to win this game.'"
Cooks was asked again about Allen and the pressure he faces. A minute before, he was speaking sadly but calmly abouta controversial call in overtimein which there was a question of whether he had control of a catch that was ruled a Broncos interception.
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Now, talking about Allen, with whom he's only been teammates since signing with the Bills on Nov. 25, Cooks' eyes started filling up with tears too. His lower lip trembled and his voice was shaky as he spoke about Allen. As he spoke, tears rolled down his face.
"You know, you know, I think we all feel that way, that you work so hard and personally so thankful to be a part of this and I look back like, man, what could I have done to alleviate some of that pressure from him?" Cooks said.
Allen has a tough day
The best comparison for Allen's career to date might be a man who played in a since-demolished stadium that was short walking distance from where Allen's season ended Saturday.
John Elway, at least through the 1980s and early part of the 1990s, can relate to what Allen is being asked to do. Elway was tasked with taking Broncos teams without a lot of superstar players around him to great heights. He went to three Super Bowls in that era, losing them all, before Mike Shanahan arrived and help came around Elway.
The similarities are there with Allen, aside from the Super Bowl appearances. We'll see if Allen gets those championships late in his career, as Elway did, to erase most of the heartache.
That seemed a long way off in Denver as Allen sat with a blank stare in his locker long after the game, and long after most of his teammates had made their way to the bus to head out of the stadium. In many of the Bills' playoff losses, it was tough to blame Allen. He has been excellent through most of his postseason career, and the rest of the Bills haven't always upheld their end. On Saturday, Allen was far from perfect.
Near the end of the first half, he had a terrible turnover, scrambling in the final seconds with no timeouts and far from the end zone. He held the ball in his right hand and it was easily poked out by Nik Bonitto.
The Broncos recovered with two seconds left and got a field goal. Those three points were big in a game that went to overtime.
"Can't do that," Allen said.
Allen was strip-sacked to start the third quarter, though the Bills barely slowed down Bonitto on that pass rush. Allen threw two interceptions, including the disputed one downfield to Cooks on third down. That came at the end of a drive in which the Bills had the ball and any score would have won the game. Allen's critics will say that was his chance to win, and he came up short. Or they'll point to the four turnovers he had in a three-point game.
"When you shoot yourself in the foot like that, you don't deserve to win football games," Allen said.
Allen still kept Buffalo in the game. He had 283 passing yards and two touchdowns, and another 66 yards rushing. He took more punishment, like he did against the Jaguars in a wild-card win. Allen talked about it being a long season, and they all will beuntil the Bills get him more help.
The life of an NFL quarterback isn't always fair. Losses rarely get pinned solely on a cornerback, offensive lineman or any other position. Allen is an MVP quarterback but now the growing narrative surrounding his career is that he hasn't been great enough to carry the Bills to a Super Bowl. The burden of being in that position is tough for anyone to imagine.
"We wouldn't be here without Josh Allen," offensive tackle Spencer Brown said. "That's the leader he is. He's going to take the blame and be the front face for what happened here today.
"I love the guy."
Allen will turn 30 years old this offseason. He'll have more opportunities to take the Bills to a Super Bowl, but it might be tougher going forward. The Patriots took the AFC East title and with second-year quarterback Drake Maye, they shouldn't fade away anytime soon. Mahomes, Jackson and Burrow could all be back in the playoffs next season, though there's a health concern with Mahomes and plenty of questions with theRavensandBengalsafter rough seasons. And it's simply hard to get to even one Super Bowl. Allen already knows. Maybe that's why the loss Saturday seemed to hit harder than the rest of the playoff disappointments.
"I haven't been doing a lot of talking, other than how I love my teammates and I'm extremely sorry and disappointed with how this ended," Allen said.
